Perspective is everything ....

Almost 90 days ago, I agreed to participate in a challenge at my gym Ora Fitness and Yoga. When I agreed to do this challenge, I thought it would be good for me, physically, to mix things up. I reluctantly agreed to the conditions of the challenge that would have me leave the comfort of the gym and enter the unknown rooms of yoga and spin.

I have always tried to be active, and I had joined Ora during the previous year while on mat leave. What I didn't expect from this challenge was the profound mental shift that has occurred these last 12 weeks.  I have always tried to see things differently (hence the name of this blog), but this challenge pushed me to stretch myself even further.

When I first "dipped my toes"into the yoga studio I was leary, even hesitant, about the power of this room. I had heard about the physical benefits of the infrared, but I was going to do just my 1 class/week to satisfy requirements of the challenge - and my goal....to fully commit and trust the process.  Little did I know how much that first heart-core class with TracyLynn would impact me. I left that class feeling physically challenged, but I also felt that she spoke directly to my heart. I had never experienced someone who was able to speak directly to my soul - it was a feeling I would soon start to crave - a void that needed to be filled was finally being filled. I was starting to heal from the inside, as cliche as that sounds.  Wounds that I didn't know existed (ok, I knew they were there, but I was ignoring them) were starting to be healed. A power that I had inside me was starting to be awoken. I knew I had to return the following week and try that class again.

3 weeks into the challenge a shift had happened inside of me; I was no longer " happy" in the gym.  I liked the  challenges that the new classes in the yoga studio brought. Cardio has never been my forte, and now doing it a heated room....now that's a challenge!!

While I was enjoying these classes, there was still a piece of my puzzle missing...enter Soulidifly! This is a class that a year ago I would have laughed at, but now its a class that I am missing immensely (get better soon TL!). Over the years I have built up many walls in my life - self preservation is key! This class finally allowed me to slow down enough to actually break through some of my walls. My first class I left not knowing what I had experienced, but knowing that I needed more of it in my life. Having fed myself negative self talk for so many years, I NEEDED to hear the messages given in this class. I am good enough, I am strong enough, I am worth it and I love myself! These are messages that I desperately needed to hear....and add to my own self talk daily. I HAVE been through harder and survived! I am a fighter! Slowing down and noticing the beautiful things around me has really changed my perspective on many things.

Things I have learned over the past 12 weeks:

1) I am a force to be reckoned with - a few people have commented that I am a leader and people look up to me and what I am doing. People have commented that they heard me talk about a class, and tried it because they value my opinion. I have never felt that way about myself, but I am owning it!

2)  Being selfish isn't selfish, its self love - As a parent, being away from your child is often considered selfish. I am done work at 2:45, and could get my children by 3:00, but Im selfish and go to the gym first. I work a busy job and I need time to decompress after work. This makes me a better parent when I do get my children. I am present, healthy and setting a good example of physical/mental health for them.

3) When you slow down and take the time to be present, the world is amazing! Over the past several weeks, I have done random acts of kindness, but I have also been on the receiving end of them. In the past, I wouldn't have either recognised it or taken the time to acknowledge them. Slowing down, being grateful and showing appreciation are important.

4) The world works in mysterious ways and people come into your life for a reason, when you need them. Being open to see them, greet them and accept them is key.

5) It ok to not be in control - as a type A teacher, I am used to having a lot of say over how things go in my day to day life. The truth is, not having this control scares me. I like routine. I like predicable.  I like knowing the plan! There are things in life that we cant control...and when those things come up, I need to remember that its ok and that I do have control over how I react to them.

6)  Its ok to be vulnerable - life is tough and its ok to ask for help, have a bad day and cry. I have done all of these things recently and have come back stronger. Being emotional isn't a weakness, its a strength.

7) Slowing down is important - the stretch class, meditation class, 5 minutes at the end of class are JUST as important (if not more) than the high intensity class. Our days are so busy, and sometimes our bodies just need to rest. The most changes happen in recovery.

8) My inside has changed more than my outside - I wish there was a way to measure the health of our insides as I feel they have healed so much over the last 12 weeks. I cant explain this one well, but I feel like my joints, muscles, organs and skin just feel healthier.

9) My physical body is amazing and I dont give it enough credit! While I may not have had the inches/pounds lost that I would have liked, I feel so much better physically. I need to remember to thank my body for all it does for me daily and all that it has done for me. I push myself in every class I attend, and my body accepts that push!

I have also had  2 very extremely high risk, difficult pregnancies and 2 traumatic deliveries (not just the c-section, but the circumstances that required them happen) and my body was still able to bounce back in ways I am in awe of. My body grown 2 amazing children, has protected them both during pregnancy and delivery, and  has nourished them - and for that I am eternally grateful. Things easily could have gone more sideways, and 1 or more of us could have easily not made it out the other side. All 3 of us not only are surviving, we are thriving and doing things that other people might see as amazing! Its just normal for us! I am learning to thank my body for all it has done, rather than be upset about the things it is still working towards.

 This challenge was great for pushing me out of my comfort zone, making me balance my workouts more and stretch myself emotionally. This is not the end for me, this is the end of this chapter and I cant wait to write the next one....with some more kick ass classes! As I said to Emily tonight, this is just 90 out of the my life, Im here for the long haul....

Challenge accepted....

As some of you may know, I am part of a 90 day challenge at my gym. This started on January 21, so we are now well into the challenge. I joined this challenge because I wanted some more accountability, I go to the gym very regularly, but I will admit that recently I have been "phoning it in". This challenge seemed to be something that would push me out of my comfort zone, but seemed doable to me .... I don't like to fail. I set my goals (Body - intermittent fast 16:8x5 days/week. Mind - trust the process and commit to the full 90 days. Soul - spend 10 minutes each day with each of my kids) and started on my way.

There were 2 options for the challenge, and I chose "Train Your Body" - which among other things required me to do 1 class in the yoga studio and one class in the spin room on top of 1 class in the gym each week. I will admit there was a lot of whining on my part, sorry Keashia, when this part of the challenge was announced. I LOVE my gym workouts and I was being FORCED out of the gym 2 days/week! How dare they!! Little did I know that the classes that were added to the yoga studio at 3:30 would be the best things that ever happened to me, and Keashia in the spin room - what an awesome gift!

Before the challenge "officially" started, I found myself in a 9:15 Sunday am heart-core class with TracyLynn. I had no idea at the time, how much this decision to attend this class would set in place a cascade of events in my life. If you haven't been to a class with Tracylynn, you are truly missing out.

Before this class, I always thought that going to the gym was solely to train my body, I never realized just how much I was neglecting my mental health. I had been avoiding dealing with this aspect of my health for a long time and didn't realize how much this was actually limiting limiting my physical progress. My ship was sinking and I needed to take back being the captain of my ship - I have the power to not let others effect me in a negative way.

2 weeks into the challenge, I stopped Keashia  in the hallways and I told her I had come to a conclusion that I never thought I would ever come to .....I prefer not to workout  in the gym. I came to Ora because I missed lifting heavy things, but this challenge has made me realize that what I have been doing for over a year isn't helping me to reach the goals I want to achieve. 2 weeks ago I was annoyed that I had to leave the gym, and now I'm finding that I have to find a place in my workout schedule to go to the fitness studio. This was a shift I never saw coming!

After meeting with Dr. Gibons, the Naturopath at Restore,  I gained some insight as to why this is - my system was overloaded by stimulus. Work is hectic, home is hectic and the gym is hectic. The yoga studio and spin rooms provide a environment of calm and focus that allow my mind and body to slow down, but also allow me to challenge my body in a different way. 

It was around this time I decided to take a huge step for me....I walked into a Soulidify class. This was such a new experience for me, but one that I am so thankful that I took. The lessons I took away from that hour have had a profound impact on my mindset. This was the missing piece of my puzzle!  For so many years, my self talk has been negative, and being in the yoga studio and hearing positive messaging and permission to let go of things was huge for me.  I cried in that class - for the first time in a long time, I was given permission to let go of the past, forgive myself for things that I have been holding onto, believe in myself and know that who I am is good enough! Somehow having someone else tell me its ok is easier, but I am learning to believe my own thoughts.

I was given gifts, and even though others may not understand them, I do! Often, especially at work, I wonder why people don't see things the way I do. I now understand that's why I'm in the job that I am in - I see things differently and  therefore can help kids differently. My blog is called "the way I see it" because often I have felt that I see things differently, and that its viewed negatively (mostly by me), but I'm learning to embrace its and see it as a gift, not a hindrance.

Half way through this challenge, I am not the same person who began it! I am accepting who I am - my flaws, my strength and my gifts. I am learning to see myself in a different light, through the lens that others see me. I have given myself permission to let go of past, forgive myself and to accept that its a process that cant be rushed. Change takes time, and even if I cant see it...I'm changing. The last 2 years have been a HUGE challenge for myself and my family; and I'm finally in a place where I can heal and I am so thankful to have a safe place to become the best version of myself.

For the first time in a long time I feel like me! I am making positive physical and mental changes and I cant wait to see what the next 45 days brings!