Challenge accepted....

As some of you may know, I am part of a 90 day challenge at my gym. This started on January 21, so we are now well into the challenge. I joined this challenge because I wanted some more accountability, I go to the gym very regularly, but I will admit that recently I have been "phoning it in". This challenge seemed to be something that would push me out of my comfort zone, but seemed doable to me .... I don't like to fail. I set my goals (Body - intermittent fast 16:8x5 days/week. Mind - trust the process and commit to the full 90 days. Soul - spend 10 minutes each day with each of my kids) and started on my way.

There were 2 options for the challenge, and I chose "Train Your Body" - which among other things required me to do 1 class in the yoga studio and one class in the spin room on top of 1 class in the gym each week. I will admit there was a lot of whining on my part, sorry Keashia, when this part of the challenge was announced. I LOVE my gym workouts and I was being FORCED out of the gym 2 days/week! How dare they!! Little did I know that the classes that were added to the yoga studio at 3:30 would be the best things that ever happened to me, and Keashia in the spin room - what an awesome gift!

Before the challenge "officially" started, I found myself in a 9:15 Sunday am heart-core class with TracyLynn. I had no idea at the time, how much this decision to attend this class would set in place a cascade of events in my life. If you haven't been to a class with Tracylynn, you are truly missing out.

Before this class, I always thought that going to the gym was solely to train my body, I never realized just how much I was neglecting my mental health. I had been avoiding dealing with this aspect of my health for a long time and didn't realize how much this was actually limiting limiting my physical progress. My ship was sinking and I needed to take back being the captain of my ship - I have the power to not let others effect me in a negative way.

2 weeks into the challenge, I stopped Keashia  in the hallways and I told her I had come to a conclusion that I never thought I would ever come to .....I prefer not to workout  in the gym. I came to Ora because I missed lifting heavy things, but this challenge has made me realize that what I have been doing for over a year isn't helping me to reach the goals I want to achieve. 2 weeks ago I was annoyed that I had to leave the gym, and now I'm finding that I have to find a place in my workout schedule to go to the fitness studio. This was a shift I never saw coming!

After meeting with Dr. Gibons, the Naturopath at Restore,  I gained some insight as to why this is - my system was overloaded by stimulus. Work is hectic, home is hectic and the gym is hectic. The yoga studio and spin rooms provide a environment of calm and focus that allow my mind and body to slow down, but also allow me to challenge my body in a different way. 

It was around this time I decided to take a huge step for me....I walked into a Soulidify class. This was such a new experience for me, but one that I am so thankful that I took. The lessons I took away from that hour have had a profound impact on my mindset. This was the missing piece of my puzzle!  For so many years, my self talk has been negative, and being in the yoga studio and hearing positive messaging and permission to let go of things was huge for me.  I cried in that class - for the first time in a long time, I was given permission to let go of the past, forgive myself for things that I have been holding onto, believe in myself and know that who I am is good enough! Somehow having someone else tell me its ok is easier, but I am learning to believe my own thoughts.

I was given gifts, and even though others may not understand them, I do! Often, especially at work, I wonder why people don't see things the way I do. I now understand that's why I'm in the job that I am in - I see things differently and  therefore can help kids differently. My blog is called "the way I see it" because often I have felt that I see things differently, and that its viewed negatively (mostly by me), but I'm learning to embrace its and see it as a gift, not a hindrance.

Half way through this challenge, I am not the same person who began it! I am accepting who I am - my flaws, my strength and my gifts. I am learning to see myself in a different light, through the lens that others see me. I have given myself permission to let go of past, forgive myself and to accept that its a process that cant be rushed. Change takes time, and even if I cant see it...I'm changing. The last 2 years have been a HUGE challenge for myself and my family; and I'm finally in a place where I can heal and I am so thankful to have a safe place to become the best version of myself.

For the first time in a long time I feel like me! I am making positive physical and mental changes and I cant wait to see what the next 45 days brings!